Funny one line jokes - funny graffiti on bridge

Big Funny One Line Jokes Collection
- The Best Really Funny One Liners

• Here is our collection of funny one line jokes - so much fun pressed into a single line, isn't life sweet?
• On this page you will find success jokes, funny women jokes, prison jokes, mind jokes, wise jokes, funny ass jokes, funny animal jokes and idiot jokes. 

• Now go, dig in, have fun!

Successful Funny One Liners
~ Success Jokes

- The road to success is always under construction.

- The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.

- The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.

- Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.

- If you worry about yesterday's failures, today's successes will be few.

- Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

Woman laughing out loud

Short Funny Jokes About the Female Sex
~ Funny Women Jokes

- A woman can humiliate any man by simply saying "Hold my purse."

- A good woman will do 70 chores around the house: Cooking and 69.

- Women and rocks are very much alike ... We skip the flat ones.

- A woman will be "Queen of the sewers" if she has accessible manhole.

- Women are like convertibles. They're both more fun with their top down.

- A woman is the only hunter who uses herself for bait.

- Women are like lawn mowers ... If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.

- Women are like dollar bills; hard to pickup, but worth the effort.

- Women are like jazz music ... 3/4 jazz time and 1/4 rag time.

- What does an electric train toy and a woman's breasts have in common? Both were intended for children but no one can get dad's hands off either of them.

For more funny one line jokes on a similar topic see Really Funny Short Jokes about Men and Their Stupidity on the page Really Funny Short Jokes.

Doing Time With Funny Quick Jokes
~ Prison Jokes

- The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

- Prisoners complain behind bars, husbands complain in them.

- In prison, the best way to separate the men from the boys is with a crowbar.

- Putting a teenager in prison, won't stop his face from breaking out.

- In prison you get three meals a day - at work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

- What did one Illinois prison inmate say to the other? "The food was better when you were Governor."

For more funny one line jokes on at related topic see Best Short Jokes Ever about Police and Thieves on the page Best Short Jokes Ever.

Funny One Line Jokes - laughing afro american man

Funny One Line Jokes About Life Inside the Human Mind
~ Mind Jokes

- Indifference will be the downfall of mankind, but who cares?

- Don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be let out on its own.

- I'm impressed, I've never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.

- Nostalgia ain't what it used to be.

- I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

- Inflexibility is the hallmark of the Tiny Mind.

- The only perfect science is hindsight.

- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

- Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.

For more funny one line jokes on at related topic see Best Short Jokes Ever That Will Blow Your Mind on the page Best Short Jokes Ever or Best One Line Jokes About the Confusing Life Inside the Human Mind on the page Best One Line Jokes.

Funny One Liners That May or May Not Make You Wiser
~ Wise Jokes

- Asking a stupid question is better than repairing a stupid mistake.

- If you open the door to a lesser evil, a greater one will slink in after it.

- The greatest of all faults, is to be aware of none.

- If you can't be content with what you have received, be thankful for what you have escaped.

- Keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

- If you want to watch the world pass you by, try driving the speed limit.

- The biggest room you have, is the room for improvement.

- Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

Short Hilarious Jokes ... a Worthwhile Ass'et
~ Funny Ass Jokes

- Gay dinosaur is called Mega-sor-ass.

- A "smart ass" is someone who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you what flavour it is.

- There is one thing that all smart asses have in common... "Wise Cracks!"

- What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horses ass? A Mechanic.

- What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend's ass with a feather. Perverted is when you use the whole chicken!

- A girl went into a doctor's office with a strawberry up her ass, The doctor said: "I've got some cream for that."

Cute black baby dog puppy

Short Funny Jokes About Animals
~ Funny Animal Jokes

- When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

- When a bomb goes off in the middle of a herd of cows, there will be udder destruction.

- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

- A giraffe's family reunion is called "necks of kin. "

- To circumcise a whale, send down four skin divers.

- Dalmatians can't play hide and seek, because they are always spotted.

- One cow spying on another cow is called a steak out.

- Dog may be man's best friend, but pussy not far behind.

- Cows without legs are ground beef

- What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that thing?

Hilarious Jokes About Fools
~ Idiot Jokes

- Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

- Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.

- A cigarette is a pinch of tobacco, wrapped in paper, fire at one end, fool at the other.

- Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity!

- A fool is a 27 story window-washer who steps back to admire his work.

- It's better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it

- Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

- Did you hear about the idiot who walked around the world? He drowned.