Funny picture of two girls in party hats - birthday picture

The Best Funny Birthday Phrases, Sayings & Quotes ... Plus the History of Greeting Cards

• Here, you'll find some great funny birthday phrases and sayings.
• Plus, you'll get the history of birthday cards.  

Depending on your state of mind, life has a tendency to become stressful and overwhelming at times.

In some cases, this happens even during our birthdays. Sometimes particularly on our birthday.

Obviously this is all turned upside down.

Our birthday is supposed to be a nice day for us, it is the one day a year that's supposed to be all about us. We're not supposed to be stressed out trying to prepare nice stuff for visitors, etc.

Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.
~ Funny Birthday Phrase ~

In fact, birthday or not, the large majority of us have a hard time finding time to devote for ourselves. And what do you know, sometimes this simple fact might be one of the root causes of stress and other kinds of emotional and physical overload.

Through a dull tract of woe, of dread, the toiling year has passed and fled: And, lo! In sad and pensive strain, I sing my birthday date again.
~ Funny Birthday Phrase ~

From the age of 'elderly' to age of 'old' your hair turns to silver, but your wisdom to gold.
~ Soren Lauritzen ~ , the Personal Development Guy

Furthermore a large number of us live in the past or in the future. Although not one of the funny birthday phrases, Jean de la Bruyere clearly understood this when he said:

Children have neither past nor future; they enjoy the present, which very few of us do.
~ Jean de la Bruyere

Sooo ... if we live most of our life in the past or the future, and we also cannot bring ourselves to take time for ourselves, what is left if we don't want to keel over from worry and stress?

Well, laughter. Laughter is a form of therapy in itself. Laughter is the best medicine.

So, right now is the perfect time to start looking for the best funny birthday messages and funny birthday quotations to put in someone's card. It just might make both you and the recipient laugh, reduce your stress and thus prolong your lives!

For instance, here's what to say to your significant other when you forget his or her birthday:

"But Honey,
how do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older? "

And here's the very first funny birthday phrase:

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
~ Funny Birthday Phrase ~

And let's tarry no more; here's the first bunch of funny birthday quotes and quotations ...

Funny Birthday Phrases & Quotations

Picture of funny toy clown

Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe.
~ Funny Birthday Messages ~

We're not that different from wine and cheese. As you age and mature you get a choice: Like wine and cheese you can turn one sided, sour and smelly ... or .... multi faceted, sweet and aromatic. What determines the difference? Your emphasis on love, both for yourself and for others.
~ Soren Lauritzen ~ ,the Personal Development Guy

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier ... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
~ Stephen Wright ~

I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, ‘Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
~ Rita Rudner

About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.
~ Funny Birthday Quote ~

If you live to the age of a hundred, you have it made because very few people die past the age of a hundred.
~ George Burns ~

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
~ Jennifer Yane ~

More funny birthday sayings to come! But first, let's take quick a look at ...

The History of Greeting Cards and Birthday Cards

Drawing of Chinese greeting card

You can trace the history of greeting cards back to the ancient Chinese. During this time, the Chinese used them for sending messages of good will on New Years.

Many believe the early Egyptians, too, used to use papyrus scrolls for conveying greetings to friends and loved ones.

Life is a card game during the first half of which we get birthday cards, and during the second half get-well cards.
~ Evan Esar ~

Later in history, in the early 1400's the exchange of handmade paper greeting cards within Europe developed. Throughout this time, the Germans would use woodcuts in order to print their New Year's greetings.

After the introduction of the postage stamp in the 1850's and advancements in technology for printing, greeting cards became more affordable.

As for the US of A, greeting cards did not emerge into the industry until 1856. This marked the time when the German immigrant Louis Prang first started a small lithographic business near Boston. Throughout the early 1870's, Prang is credited for perfecting the printing process. Following this, he started publishing deluxe editions of Christmas cards. These greeting cards instantly gained popularity, even in England.

Colorful drawing of a happy birthday card For the first time in the 1950's funny birthday sayings, along with funny birthday quotes and sayings started to see the pages of Birthday cards all over the United States. Since then, many of the funny birthday sayings and phrases have evolved along with the changing times.

Throughout the years, the number of birthday phrases has grown to become, well, many. Some of them reference people's silliness as...

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, ‘Happy Birthday.'
~ Steven Wright

While other funny birthday sayings refer to a person's belief on why more people are living longer. One such example is...

People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage.
~ Funny Birthday Phrase ~

On the other hand, some of the funny birthday phrases reference women and their age. Actually, you can find a number such as these...

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
~ Funny Birthday Saying ~

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
~ Robert Frost ~

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
~ Ogden Nash

No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating.
~ Oscar Wilde

Funny Old Birthday Quotes about Growing Old(er)

No matter what, nothing beats the good old funny birthday sayings about a person getting old ...

Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternatives.
~ Maurice Chevalier

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.
~ William Shakespeare ~

First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.
~ Leo Rosenberg ~

How old I am? In dog years, I'm dead.
~ Funny Birthday Saying ~

A man of ninety years old was asked to what he attributed his longevity. I reckon, he said, with a twinkle in his eye, it's because most nights I went to bed and slept when I should have stayed up and worried.
~ Dorthea Kent

I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.
~ Harry Hershfield

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, "At my age I don't even buy green bananas".
~ Claude D. Pepper

I guess I don't so much mind being old, as I mind being fat and old.
~ Peter Gabriel

Funny Birthday Phrases to Make You Think a Bit

Pensive woman thinking. Standing in full figure from bird's perspective.

Other funny birthday quotes just make you think ...

My mother groaned, my father wept, into the dangerous world I leapt; helpless, naked, piping loud, like a fiend hid in a cloud.
~ William Blake ~

Real Birthdays are not annual affairs. Real birthdays are the days when we have a new birth.
~ Ralph Parlette

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
~ Erma Bombeck

How many observe Christ's birthday! How few, his precepts! O! ‘tis easier to keep holidays than commandments.
~ Benjamin Franklin

Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same.
~ Audrey Hepburn

Finally there are those funny birthday phrases and quotes where people talk about the things they would do for their youth back or the benefits found with growing old...

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.
~ Oscar Wilde ~

If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older.
~ Abraham Sutzkever

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
~ Dave Barry ~

Okay, that's it, for now. Hope you enjoyed this collection of funny birthday phrases, quotes and sayings and the brief history of greeting cards. No, wait, here a final one for you:

Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come.
~ Lucy Lacrom


Where Would You Like to Go Next?

Birthday Quotes

Your Guide to the Perfect Happy Birthday Quotes Funny Happy Birthday Sayings and Empowering Age Quotes

Happy Birthday Quotes: Lots of happy birthday quotes, funny quotes on age along with an outline of the history of birthdays

Funny 50th Birthday Quotes: and Funny Birthday Saying about Age that Shed a Positive Light on Getting Older

Funny Birthday Quotes: Lots of funny birthday quotes, plus the history of birthday cake.

Birthday Sayings

Funny Birthday Sayings: Lots of funny birthday sayings and wise old age quotes.

Inspirational Happy Birthday Sayings and Funny Age Quotes for That Special Birthday Toast, Card or Gift

Birthday Phrases, Greetings and Messages

Funny Birthday Greetings: and Happy Birthday Messages for your Birthday Speech or Birthday Card!

Happy Birthday Messages and Happy Birthday Sayings: An Update on the Old Perception of Age

Writing Great Birthday Messages Using Funny Birthday Quotes, Sayings and Poems

Birthday Poems

Lots of Inspirational Birthday Poems and Short Birthday Poems for all Ages: Ideal for Birthday Cards, Speeches and Toasts.

Thank You Quotes

Famous Thank You Quotes, Thank You Sayings and Wonderful Gratitude Quotes 

Back to the top of this page about The Best Funny Birthday Phrases, Sayings & Quotes ... Plus the History of Greeting Cards  

Go to the Homepage