• Here is our collection of very short jokes - our guideline here is; the shorter the joke, the greater the laugh!
• On this page you will find argument jokes, alcohol jokes, funny food jokes, masturbation jokes, men and women jokes, death jokes, funny religious jokes and lighting jokes .
- A single fact can ruin a good argument.
- Do not argue with an idiot; he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
- Never argue with a fool ... he may be doing the same thing.
- Many arguments have two sides, but no end.
- The wise speak when they have something to say, the fools speak when they have to say something.
- The best way to get a woman to argue with you, is to say something.
- Don't drink and park, accidents cause people.
- 12 months of drinking low-calorie beer is 1 lite year.
- A drunk who works at an upholstery shop is a recovering alcoholic.
- Rehabilitation is for quitters.
- Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems … but if you think again neither does milk.
- You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
- The quickest way to make tossed salad is to give fresh vegetables to an 18-month-old child.
- What kind of lettuce did they serve on The Titanic? Iceberg!
- Waiter, waiter! There's a caterpillar on my salad. Don't worry sir, there is no extra charge.
- Boss asks secretary; "Do you know the difference between Caesar Salad and a blowjob is?"
"No ...", says the secretary.
"Great, let's do lunch!" The boss says.
For more very short jokes on a related 'food' topic see Fruity Short Hilarious Jokes on the page Short Hilarious Jokes.
- Having sex is like playing bridge; if you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
- Masturbation is a solo played on a private organ.
- It's okay for a schoolboy to masturbate, as long as it's not against his principal.
- Prostitute with her hand in her panties is "self employed".
- A vigorous masturbation session is called "Hand to Gland Combat".
- Learn to masturbate; it comes in handy.
- A man who cries while he masturbates is a real tearjerker.
- Men screw with dicks; women screw with minds.
- Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
- Few women admit their age; few men act it.
- For every woman with a curve, there are several men with angles.
For more very short jokes on at related topic see Best Short Jokes Ever About Marriage on the page Best Short Jokes Ever.
- Undertakers are nice; they're the last to let people down.
- The only truly consistent people are dead.
- A will is a dead giveaway.
- A Shotgun wedding is a case of wife or death.
- Eat right, stay fit, die anyway.
- We are all part of the ultimate statistic - ten out of ten die.
- "City morgue, you kill em, we chill em!" "City morgue, you stab em we slab em!"
- Why do they have a high fence around the graveyard? Everyone is dying to get in.
For more very short jokes on a related topic see Dead-Alive Advice on the page Short Hilarious Jokes.
- I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
- Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
- The difference between the Pope and your boss; The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
- If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
- He who sleeps on bed of nails, is indeed a holy man.
- God didn't promise a calm passage. He promised a safe landing.
- What kind of fun does a priest have? Nun!
- Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
- My mind works like lightning; One brilliant flash and it is gone.
- The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train.
- Miners with illuminated helmets will feel lightheaded.
- Beauty is only a light switch away.
- What is the difference between "light" and "hard"? You can sleep with a light on.
- This isn't an office; It's hell with fluorescent lighting.
Great Car Jokes and Funny Driving Jokes: Automotive Humor at Its Best
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