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Share Your Very Funny Joke Here


• Like very funny stuff? Share your very funny joke here!
• And, of course, have fun reading what other people have shared.
• Life's too short to be bored or brooding - come smile with us ...
• ... and make the world smile, too.
• Join the fun! (Direct jump to 'Share Your Very Funny Joke')



Page Concept: We Share the Fun!
In essence this page is a shared joke blog. It's where you can share your best very funny joke - and read the funny one liners, etc. that others have shared. You can even comment on the jokes that others have shared.

What Tickles Your Funny Bone?
So what may a very funny joke be about? Well, just about everything as long as it's funny! (Check out the simple submission guidelines below).

Humor is all in the mind of the reader/listener, of course.

And since no two people are alike, there's no telling what someone will find funny. Our funny bone may get seriously tickled by something that doesn't even make your funny bone twitch.

So, we've got to allow for diversity. There'll be a bit of everything on this page.

Simple Guidelines for Your Submissions
That being said, we do have a few pointers regarding what makes a very funny joke (all else being equal):

--> Short is better than long
. . . Not always, but most of the time. Short simply packs a better punch! (Punch is good). Okay, but how short is a very funny joke, then? As long as it takes! :-)

--> The unexpected is good
. . . Meaning not only that we've got to be surprised by the punch line but also that in order to be a very funny joke it's got be new to us. So don't visit the joke Intensive Care Unit to pull old jokes out of their respirators. They won't survive here.

--> Negativity is bad
. . . Want to put someone down in the nastiest way possible? Don't do it here. It's usually never funny, and we're not going to allow it. How to tell negativity from humor? Easy: If it's going to damage someone's self esteem, it's negative.

--> Taboos are often great
. . . Though taboos do tend to vary from culture to culture. However, if you yourself consider the joke to be very naughty/nasty, sick or inappropriate, well, that's probably a good sign. Don't hold yourself back ... clean funny jokes are most welcome, but rude jokes, very sick jokes and funny sex jokes are more than welcome!

So, below you'll surely find examples of very dirty jokes, politically incorrect jokes, complicated jokes, mind jokes, marriage jokes, memory jokes, funny women jokes, funny food jokes, old people jokes, national jokes and many more. If you don't find the kind of joke you're looking for, please consider adding it yourself!

Who decides what's funny and what's not? Quotescoop.com does. Unilaterally. As we have a very broad sense of humor, we allow for many diverse kinds of funny bones, but we may also edit the content. (If you like, you can refer to 'Legalities' below).

Let's Get Started!
To get us started, we're going to make a few inputs (diverse kinds of very funny joke) right from the start. That way you'll get not only to read a very funny joke or two, but also some idea about what's expected.

If you by now you just want to jump directly to where you can share your very funny joke, go ahead.

Otherwise, we'll get us started with the first very funny joke:


Very Funny Joke

Raising Consciousness?

- If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.



Very funny joke - funny picture of monky
Very Funny Joke

Monkey Business


An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels.

Some monkeys are climbing up, some down.

The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.

The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.



Very Funny Joke

Do You Like Sex in the Movies?

- I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once, the seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well it really chilled her mood.



Jump directly to 'share your very funny joke'? Click here.


Very Funny Joke

Memory Class

An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association.

A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him.

"What was the name of the Instructor?" asked the neighbor.

"Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered. "You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what's that flower's name?"

"A rose?" asked the neighbor.

"Yes, that's it," replied the old man. He then turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the instructor we took the memory class from?"



Very Funny Joke

Lost in Thought

- I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.



Very Funny Joke

Looking for Camouflage Gear


Very funny joke - funny picture of army soldier in camouflage gear

- I went into the local store, I was looking to buy some camouflage gear, but sadly enough I couldn't find any.



Jump directly to 'share your very funny joke'? Click here.


Very Funny Joke

A Bad Day ...

- You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.



Very funny joke - picture of funny looking policeman
Very Funny Joke

Heaven and Hell

Heaven is where:
The Police are British,
The Chefs are Italian,
The Mechanics are German,
The Lovers are French
and
It's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is Where:
The Police are German,
The Chefs are British,
The Mechanics are French,
The Lovers are Swiss
and
It's all organized by the Italians.





Very Funny Joke

Think About This One

- There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.



Jump directly to 'share your very funny joke'? Click here.


Very Funny Joke

Can You Handle Pain?

- I can handle pain - until it hurts.



Very Funny Joke

Speeding Blonde ...

A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a police officer pulled her over for speeding.

Officer: May I see your licence?

Lady: What does it look like?

Officer: Its a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it.

The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it to the officer.

The officer looks in it up and says 'If you had told me you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over.'



Very Funny Joke

Braveheart

- I don't mind taking a risk, as long as I know everything will turn out okay.



Jump directly to 'share your very funny joke'? Click here.


Very Funny Joke

Marriage Joke

Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed.

She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"

The next morning he got up early. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.


Very Funny Joke

Hurray for the Tiny Difference

- The difference between roast beef and pea soup is that anyone can roast beef.



Very funny joke - picture of a wrapped up present Marriage Joke

Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed.

She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"

The next morning he got up early. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.


Very Funny Joke

Hurray for the Tiny Difference

- The difference between roast beef and pea soup is that anyone can roast beef.



Share Your Very Funny Joke

Do you have a great really funny joke - or several? Share it with the world and make it a more fun place to live in! Our experice with jokes is, the shorter, the funnier - the short ones simply pack more fun!

Enter the Title of Your Joke Here (what your joke is about)

Very Funny Jokes Other Visitors Have Shared

Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...

The Surgeon and the Plumber  starstarstarstarstar
(Visitor's very funny joke):

A well-known and very dignified surgeon called a plumber to fix the flooded bathroom in his office.

When the plumber ...

What Are You?  starstarstarstarstar
Visitor's very funny joke):

Question: If you are an American outside of the bathroom, what are you inside of the bathroom?

Answer: European!

5 Funny Jokes about Men and Women  starstarstarstarstar
(Visitor's funny one liners and jokes about men and women:)

I got a handful of one liners about men and women for ya'all:

Men are from Earth. Women ...

Very Funny Weird Duck Joke about ... Shall We Say ... Duck Soup  starstarstarstarstar
(Visitor's very funny weird duck joke:)

A woman taking a walk in the woods was surprised to have a small white duck covered in shit waddle into her ...

Antsy Elephant?  starstarstarstarstar
(Visitor's funny animal jokes):

An ant and an elephant shared a night of ecstatic passion, but the next morning the ant awoke to find that the elephant ...

Yo Mama Is so Poor  starstarstarstarstar
(Visitor's very funny yo mama joke):

Yo Mama is so poor, that when I went into her BOX and lit a match, all of the cockroaches came out and said "Clap ...

Stupid Blonde Joke  starstarstar
(Visitor's blonde joke):

Q: Why do blondes have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box!

Chinese Duck Joke  starstarstar
(Visitor's very funny silly duck joke:)

You like duck jokes? I've got one for you:

A couple go to a Chinese restaurant and order chop suey. The ...

What to Do When Your Game Console Stops Working  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny joke):

CLAUDIA: What do you do when your game console stops working?

ZACH: I don't know!

CLAUDIA: Go get a Wii-fund!

Mistaking Santa Jokes  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny Christmas joke):

What do you call something that says, "Ho ho ho" and is green?

A: Green giant
B: A sick Santa
C: A drunk ...

Broken Heart  Not rated yet
(Visitor's love quote):

Breaking me won't be easy, but if you managed to do it, putting the pieces back together would be even harder.

True Wisdom ... or not!  Not rated yet
(Visitor's ironic, very funny joke):

Knowledge is power, and power corrupts, so study hard and be evil!

Who Gets Sex?  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny joke):

This joke is just like sex ... I get it and you don't ;-)

I'd Rather Be Unique  Not rated yet
(Visitor's inspirational life quote):

I'd rather be hated for being an original than be liked for being a copy.

Newspaper Riddle  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny joke):

Question: What is black and white and red all over?

Answer: A newspaper!

Toilet Paper Down the Hill  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny joke):

Question: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
Answer: To get to the bottom!

The 3 Men's Bathrooms  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny joke):

There were 3 men: an African, a French and an American.

These 3 men were very best friends and one day these 3 people ...

Dog - Made by My 5 Year Old Sister, Sooo Cute :)  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny joke):

Why did the dog sit next to the fire?

Because it was a hotdog :')

Blondes with Burgers!   Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny joke):

Question: What do you call a row of little plastic women with blonde hair and burgers?

Answer: A barbie queue!

The Dictator Arrested  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny joke):

The Dictator has just been arrested at a family barbeque and the rebels are now grilling him.

Crazy Questions, Crazy Replies!  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny joke):



- I was home late and dialed the buzzer.

Dad said "You coming?"

I replied "No way! Was just checking that ...

Confucious Say About Cars - Very Funny Joke  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny joke):

Man who run behind car get exausted and man who run in front of car get tired.

Confucius Say
- Funny Confucius Saying  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny joke):

Confucius say: Woman is like clog toilet, hard to get to go down!

3 Men on a Plane Joke  Not rated yet
There where 3 men on a plane:

- An Indian.
- A Pakistani.
- And an Englishman.

The Indian had a knife.
The Pakistani had an axe.
The Englishman ...

The Big Issue Joke  Not rated yet
Knock Knock...

Who's there?

Biggish!

Biggish-who?

No, thank you!


LOL xx
----

Funny Rhyming Joke: My Teacher  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny joke:)

My mom made this up at my poets cafe.
It was so funny, just listen.

My teacher is kooky
My teacher is cool
Expecially ...

Confusious Say
The Sandpaper Joke  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny joke):

Man who masturbates with sandpaper will surely get burned.

Never Marry a Wrestler Joke  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny joke):

So one day three men were at a bar.

The first man who was married to the chef said, "I told my wife to clean the dishes ...

A Farmer and his Mule  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny joke):

One evening while his wife was cooking supper, a farmer who wanted to plow the back forty was attempting to get his stubborn ...

About a Man from India  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny joke:)

A man was living in a building with many flats. He was wearing a dhoti, no undergranments and a vest.

One day when ...

Confucius Joke - Smelly Finger  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny joke):

Confucius says: Boy who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger.

The Longest Word in the World!  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny joke):

Q: What is the longest word in the world?

A: 'Smiles' because there is a mile in between the first and last letters....

The Wishing Cliff!  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny joke):

There was a blonde, a redhead, and brunette. They went to a wishing cliff because they heard that when you say a wish,...

The Blonde Robber!  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny joke):

There was a blonde, redhead, and brunette. They decided that they were going to steal some jewelry from a near-by house,...

Bears Went to the Doctor   Not rated yet
Three bears went to the doctor because they were constipated. The doctor gives the dad three pills, mommy bear two pills and baby bear 1 pill.

Dad ...

Counting Eggs - Confucius Say: Think Before You Speak  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny joke with Confucius Say:)

CONFUCIUS SAY ...

"Think before you speak or woman hit you in the head with remote."

The Tubby Toilet Joke  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny toilet joke)

Question: Why did the teletubbies all go to the toilet at the same time?

Answer: Because they only have one tinky-...

Several Slightly Stupid Silly Jokes  Not rated yet
(Visitor's slightly stupid silly jokes:)

Blessed are the pure ... for they shall inhibit the earth.

Definition of lazy: Putting corn for popping ...

Funny Epitaph from Vermont  Not rated yet
(Visitor shares a funny epitaph:)

Okay, this isn't strictly a joke, but it is funny. On a grave in Enosburg (a town in Vermont, US), I saw an epitaph ...

The Breast Jokes Ever  Not rated yet
(Visitor's breast jokes:)

Hi folks,
Some of you love ducks and duck jokes, but I prefer breasts and breast jokes, he he he, enjoy ...

I had this ...

Six Silly Puns and Groaners  Not rated yet
(Visitor's silly puns and groaners):

Inspired by Ringo's comment on the Chinese Duck joke elswhere on this page ... where he was using some really ...

Funny Brunette Joke  Not rated yet
(Visitor's Funny Brunette Joke):

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"I doubt that ...

Duck! More Duck Jokes Coming!  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny crazy duck jokes:)

I found your duck jokes and I liked them. I love duck jokes. I have got a couple for you as well:

Which ...

Funny Sexy Joke about a One Night Stand  Not rated yet
(Visitor's very funny sexy joke:)

A guy picked up a girl in a bar and took her back to his hotel. They had great sex, and then they had great sex again,...

Funny Short Joke about Critics  Not rated yet
(Visitor's funny short joke:)

Artist says to critic: "I'd like to hear your opinion of my painting."

Critic: "It's worthless!"

Artist: "I know,...

Sherlock Holmes & Dr. Watson Go Camping  Not rated yet
(Visitor's Sherlock Holmes jokes):

Sherlock Holmes and his trusty sidekick, Dr. Watson, were camping. In the early evening they sat looking at the ...

Barbie Joke  Not rated yet
(Visitor's barbie jokes):

A mother asked her little girl, Lucy, what she'd like for Christmas.

"I want a Barbie and G.I. Joe," said Lucy.

"But ...

Name Game  Not rated yet
(Visitor's jokes about kids):

Question:
What do you call a 3 year old Jewish child who isn't circumcised?

Answer:
A girl.

Father in a Fist Fight  Not rated yet
(Visitor's father jokes):

A small boy came running up to a policeman, yelling, "Please come with me, my dad is in a fight!"

The officer followed ...




Legalities
When you submit your very funny joke and other information to this page, please note that while common jokes are usually considered public domain, material that has been created from scratch and published by someone in some form is copyrighted and may not be used. (Quoting people and giving them due credit is still allowed, though). Any copyright issues that may arise from what you submit here are solely your responsibility. If there is any doubt, we'll remove the material without notice.

Obviously, since this is our page, we'll edit the content. We'll edit/correct anything we please as we please, and if we don't like what you send us, we'll delete it. Simple as that.

Also, Quotescoop.com reserves the right to publish or re-publish anything you submit ... anywhere, at any time, in any form we please. You will receive no payment for this, but if you provide us with your true name and contact data (which we will treat confidentially) we will always credit you as the author - and even provide a link to your website, if you have one.

For further information, please read the page Privacy Policy and Disclaimer.


Where Would You Like to Go Next?

Go to the top of this page about Funny Ads and Funny Condoms That Will Raise Your ... Spirits

Perhaps, you'd also like to read: Short Hilarious Jokes or Confucius Jokes or Best Short Jokes Ever

If you'd like to see some funny ads galleries, you can go to Funny Ads: A Delicately Handpicked Collection of the Best and Funniest Commercials Ever

To see what has been added to this site recently (plus offers, etc.), check out Blog & News at Quotescoop.com

If you want to read more about personal development, self improvement, self help, motivation, inspiration & spirituality, you can do so at Soren Lauritzen's other two websites (the names say it all):

• thePersonalDevelopmentGuy.com (High-level insight & practical self help)

• Smartass-Self-Help.com (Self improvement the fun, entertaining way)

• Positive-Parenting-Ally.com (Parenting advice for the conscious, open-minded parent)

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