Short hilarious jokes - funny graffiti - good morning lemmings

Short Hilarious Jokes
& Really Funny One Liners

 

• Here is a collection of short hilarious jokes that we consider some of the best one line jokes.
• As we want no one to leave our site still feeling hungry, we have a bit of something for every taste: 

• One this page you will find funny sex jokes, life jokes, political jokes, truth jokes, air jokes, death jokes, complicated jokes, fruit jokes and funny medical jokes.

• Now go for them, and catch those funny phrases as they explode to your delight!


Short Funny Jokes about Sex
~ Funny Sex Jokes

- Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom while getting a rise.

- Whether or not sex is better than pot, depends on the pusher.

- Oral sex makes one's day, but anal sex makes one's hole weak.

- If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong!

- Sex is like vacation....it never lasts long enough.

- If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.

For more best short jokes ever on the same topic see Some Really Funny Short Jokes about Sex on the page Really Funny Short Jokes.


Really Funny Jokes about Life, The Universe and Everything
~ Life Jokes

-The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

- Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

- Your strength lies in your continued belief that what you just ate was indeed duck.

- At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.

- If you continue to live in the past, your life is history.

- The mind is like a parachute; it works much better when it's open.

- When you harbour bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

- Misfortune is the kind of fortune that never misses.

For more Short Hilarious Jokes on a similar topic see Really Funny Quick Jokes about Life on the page Really Funny Quick Jokes.


Political Short Jokes
~ Political Jokes

Political Jokes: Funny drawing of politician trying to look like a saint.

- A politician is a man who stands for what he thinks the voters will fall for.

- Leftists are among the first to speak of their rights.

- The honest politician. Take my advice; I don't use it anyway.

- It's tough being a politician. Half your reputation is ruined by lies the other half is ruined by the truth!

- Honesty in politics is much like oxygen. The higher up you go, the scarcer it becomes.

- Crime is merely politics without the excuses.

- The reason they bury politicians 26 feet under is because deep down they're nice guys.

- A politician is one who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

For more short hilarious jokes on the same topic see Some Really Funny Short Jokes About Politicians and Governments on the page Really Funny Short Jokes.




Truths You Never Knew, You Were Never Going to Miss
~ Truth Jokes

- A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

- Never forget that you are unique, just like everybody else!

- Tis better to be pissed off than pissed on.

- He who refuses to listen, is lying.

- It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

- The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.

For more really funny short jokes on at related topic see Best Short Jokes Ever - Shocking Truths on the page Best Short Jokes Ever.


Hilarious Jokes That Are up in the Air
~ Air Jokes

Really Funny Short Jokes: funny drawing of man in an aeroplane

- Getting sick at the airport, could be a terminal illness.

- If at first you don’t succeed, parachuting is not for you.

- An 'Aeroplane Blonde' is one who has bleached her hair but still has a 'black box'.

- People who say they never fart, are full of hot air.

- No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening.

- Two wrongs may not make a right; but two Wrights made an airplane.


Dead-Alive Advice
~ Near Death Joke
s

- Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

- Do not argue with spouse who is packing your parachute.

- Live each day as if it were your last, because someday it will be.

For more short funny jokes on a related topic see Very Short Jokes that Hit the Dead Centre on the page Very Short Jokes.




 Jokes That May Take Time to Digest
~ Complicated Jokes

- I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

- He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.

- Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.


Fruity Short Hilarious Jokes
~ Fruit Jokes

Short hilarious jokes: Funny drawing of orange pear eating an apple.

- Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.

- Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.

- A gay man with diarrhoea is called juicy fruit!

- The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

- Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation? Because she threw out all the bent ones.

- "Patience" is a naked woman lying down with her legs apart under a banana tree.

For more hilarious jokes on a related 'food' topic see Very Short Jokes from Our Salad Days on the page Very Short Jokes.




Best Short Jokes about Medical Professionals
~ Funny Medical Jokes

Funny medical jokes: funny drawing of a doctor

- A male gynaecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.

- The very first doctor of dermatology, had to start from scratch.

- Gynaecologist and the pizza delivery man are very much alike... both get to smell the goods, but neither one can eat it.

- A practical nurse is one who marries a wealthy, terminally ill patient.

- What do gynaecologists and pizza delivery men have in common? They always get to sniff it, but never get to eat it.

- Argument between pharmacist and a patient is called a pill owe fight.

 

Where Would You Like to Go Next?

Great Jokes

Really Funny Jokes

Very Funny Jokes

Short Funny Jokes

Short Funny Jokes 

Best Short Jokes Ever

Really Funny Short Jokes

Really Funny Quick Jokes

'Confucius Say' Jokes

Confucius Jokes

Funny Confucius Sayings

Funny Confucius Quotes

Funny One Liners

Funny One Line Jokes

Very Short Jokes

Best One Line Jokes

Really Funny One Liners

Random funny jokes

Great Car Jokes and Funny Driving Jokes: Automotive Humor at Its Best

Back to the top of this page about Short Hilarious Jokes & Really Funny One Liners  

Go to the Quotescoop.com Homepage

 

site search by freefind