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Really Funny Short Jokes & Best One Line Jokes• Here is our collection of really funny short jokes - carefully selected for their high 'laughability' rating!
- Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened. - Men are like spray paint. One squeeze and they're all over you. - Men are like fish ... neither would get in trouble if they kept their mouths shut. - Just because men have one, doesn't mean they have to be one. - Men are like lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright. - Why men are like toilets: 1) They are always out of order. 2) They stink. 3) The nice ones are always engaged. 4) They consume large amounts of liquid. 5) They are constantly full of crap. - Men are like cement ... after getting laid, they take a long time to get hard. For more Really Funny Short Jokes on a similar topic see Funny One Line Jokes about Women on the page Funny One Line Jokes.
- Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. - Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies. - Even crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it. - To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles. - Stop repeat offenders - don't re-elect them! - Don't steal. The government hates competition! For more Really Funny Short Jokes on the same topic see Political Short Hilarious Jokes on the page Short Hilarious Jokes.
- Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. - The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less. - My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg. - Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any. - The web isn't better than sex, but sliced bread is in serious trouble. - Some sex is good ... more is better ... too much is just about right. - Sex is like a Ford Explorer. Going too fast may cause a roll-over injury. - Why is sex like a bridge game? You don't need a partner if you have a good hand. For more Really Funny Short Jokes on the same topic see Short Hilarious Jokes About Sex on the page Short Hilarious Jokes.
- I don't remember being absent minded. - Ever stop to think and forget to start again? - My wife says I never listen, or something like that ... - I can't remember the last time I forgot something. - A forgetful cow gives milk of Amnesia! - If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory. - The more you say, the less people remember. -When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance. For more Really Funny Short Jokes on at related topic see Really Funny Quick Jokes about Amnesia on the page Really Funny Quick Jokes or Best Short Jokes Ever That Will Blow Your Mind on the page Best Short Jokes Ever.
- If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea ... does that mean that one enjoys it? - Remember half the people you know are below average. - The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. - Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name - All generalizations are false. - 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
- Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. - Hang in there: Retirement is only 30 years away! - If a job is worth doing, then get someone in to do it properly. - Hard work never killed anybody but why take the risk! - Work fascinates me - I can look at it for hours! - Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. - Some people are like blisters. They don't show up until the work is done. - A chemist who falls in acid gets absorbed in his work.
- I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going. - Vitamins are good for what ails you. Viagra is good for what fails you. - Viagra is like Disneyland; a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride. - Why do nursing homes give Viagra to their male patients? To keep them from rolling out of bed. - If you're depressed and think you might need Viagra, see a professional. If that doesn't work, see a doctor! - What is the difference between your first honeymoon and your second? The first: Niagara; the second: Viagra. - A man and his wife went to the chemist to pick up his prescription for Viagra. Seeing the $10 per pill price, the man was astonished - but his wife had a different opinion - "Oh, $40 a year ain't too bad". - It's been revealed that criminals who steal Viagra will face stiff penalties.
- We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. - Couple who cross LSD with birth control pills, get a trip without the kids. - Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up. - Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? - I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids. - What do you get if you cross a baby with soldiers? Infantry! - The teacher asked Simon to say his name backwards. "No mis" he replied! You like 'quickies'? These short funny jokes make out the 'cherry' of the cake! 'Confucius Say' funny quotes are funny one line jokes that have everything to do with fun and nothing to do with Confucius! What funny one liners lack in length, they win in fun - so prepare for a good laugh! Also some great random funny jokes. Great Car Jokes and Funny Driving Jokes: Automotive Humor at Its Best If you want to read more about personal development, self improvement, self help, motivation, inspiration & spirituality, you can do so at Soren Lauritzen's other two websites (the names say it all): Go to the top of this page about Really Funny Short Jokes Go to the Quotescoop.com Homepage |
- Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. So if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
