On this page you will find funny computer jokes, money jokes, life jokes, boys and girls jokes, sleep jokes, funny love jokes, funny cartoon jokes and memory jokes
- A picture is worth a thousand words but it uses up a thousand times the memory.
- Who is "General Failure" and why is he reading my hard disk?
- I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on disk somewhere.
- New wives are like computers ... they go down unexpectedly.
- Did you hear about the new Viagra computer virus? It turns your floppy disk into a hard drive.
- Why men are like computers: 1) they are useless until you turn them on. 2) They have lots of data but are still clueless. 3) As soon as you pick one, a better model comes on the market!
- Why women are like computers: 1) No one really understands them. 2) All our mistakes are stored in their memory. 3) You find yourself spending all your money on accessories for them!
- It's not hard to meet expenses ... they're everywhere
- A bargain: something you cannot use at a price you cannot resist.
- Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.
- A man can keep his youth by giving her money, furs and diamonds.
- Did you hear about the man who spent too much money on Viagra: Now, he's hard up
- What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire? A very witch person.
For more best short jokes ever on at related topic see Taxing Jokes That Won't Wear You Out - From the Best Short Jokes Ever Collection on the page Best Short Jokes Ever.
- Life is all about ass. You're either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it or trying to get a piece of it.
- I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
- All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else.
- Jesus says to John: "Come forth, I'll give you eternal life." John came fifth - he won a toaster.
- There's a gap in your life! Mind if I fill it!
- I intend to live forever - so far so good.
For more Really Funny Quick Jokes on a similar topic see Short Hilarious Jokes About Life, the Universe, and Everything on the page Short Hilarious Jokes.
- A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home!
- If your girlfriend starts smoking, slow down and use a lubricant.
- A girl's best asset is her 'lie' ability.
- Be careful when a guy tells you that he loves you from the bottom of his heart for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top!
- My girlfriend always laughs during sex ... no matter what she's reading.
- Boys should tell their trousers that it's rude to point!
- Boys are like mascara, they run on the first sign of emotion.
Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep!
- There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
- Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
- My life's dream has been a perpetual nightmare.
~ Voltaire ~
- And I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings. And I HATE people like that!
- A relationship is the opportunity to do something you hate with someone you love.
- It is better to lose a lover than love a loser.
- It is better to have loved a short woman than to have never loved a tall.
- How to impress woman: kiss her, hug her, compliment her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her. How to impress a man: Show up naked with beer.
- If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? The swallow!
- Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
- Always go to other people's funerals or they won't go to yours.
- It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
- Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
- Cinderella would be bad at football. Her coach was a pumpkin.
- When Einstein stared at his cousin's boobs, he discovered 'Theory of Relative Titty'.
- Winnie The Pooh will get angry if you stick your finger in his honey.
- Van Gogh was a painter because he didn't have an ear for music.
- How do frogs die? They Kermit suicide.
- Snow White is sitting on Pinocchio's face and she says "tell me a lie"
- Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.
- The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
- Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time - I think I've forgotten this before.
- I've had amnesia as long as I can remember.
- According to my best recollection, I don't remember.
- My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
- One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every day.
- A clear conscience is the sign of a bad memory.
- He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
For more Really Funny Quick Jokes on at related topic see Really Funny Short Jokes about Memory on the page Really Funny Short Jokes.
You like 'quickies'? These short funny jokes make out the 'cherry' of the cake!
'Confucius Say' funny quotes are funny one line jokes that have everything to do with fun and nothing to do with Confucius!
What funny one liners lack in length, they win in fun - so prepare for a good laugh!
Also some great random funny jokes.
Great Car Jokes and Funny Driving Jokes: Automotive Humor at Its Best
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