Take the Funny True Love Match Quiz for Ladies, Damsels in Distress and Assorted Fun Loving Females - a Weird Soul Mate Test

Question 1

Every time he walks in the room ...

A. Your heart skips a beat and you feel a smile start to tug at the corners of your mouth

B. You feel safe and protected and a bit childish, too, and sometimes you want to walk over and ask him for a hug

C. You mutter and scowl at him while secretly wishing for an expensive divorce settlement in your favor, followed by him meeting a woman who has an uncanny resemblance to his mean, ugly mother, followed by him fathering unending generations of mentally retarded, evil, short, fat, smelly and balding children who look and behave exactly like him

Answers to Question 1
~ in the Fun Loving Female's Love Match Test & Quiz ~

If you answered ...

A. He is definitely the one your heart wants.

B. You might be dating your dad

C. You are thinking about your ex.

Question 2

When he and you want to watch a movie together ...

A. He instantly agrees with what you want, either because you share the same taste or because he just loves to sit there in the dark and be close to you

B. You discuss it like mature adults, and after about five minutes you decide to see BOTH the sentimentality dripping romance AND the new, crazy action movie with the highest kill rate ever

C. You argue heatedly for hours on end until eventually you ... fall asleep

Answers to Question 2

~ in the Fun Loving Female's Love Match Test & Quiz ~

If you answered ...

A. He is a sissy-like pushover or is not telling you what he really wants. Be careful

B. You are too different and will probably have irreconcilable differences

C. Opposites always attract, and the fact that you can work out your problems is a good sign.

Question 3

Describe his looks:

A. Too good to be true

B. Nice looking - and charming - and loveable

C. Ugly enough to break mirrors

Answers to Question 3

~ in the Fun Loving Female's Love Match Test & Quiz ~

If you answered ...

A. It may just be too good to be true.

B. He may be just the right guy for you.

C. Since you are just dating him to make yourself look pretty next to him, you really need to learn that beauty comes from the inside.

Question 4

When you are with him ...

A. You know that you are the center of his universe and he thinks of nothing but you, ever

B. You know that you are loved, but that your man is able to be complete without you

C. You are constantly catching him looking at, visually undressing, talking to, and picking up other women

Answers to Question 4

~ in the Fun Loving Female's Love Match Test & Quiz ~

If you answered ...

A. This guy is much too needy and will soon end up making you think he is a total wimp who is seriously cramping your style with his groveling, boring and stifling behavior

B. A complete man makes a complete woman, and good on you for finding an individual who can stand on his own two feet

C. Get your act together and either do the same thing he does or dump him. Players are easy to date, but impossible hold and more than likely to end up breaking your heart (not to mention giving you a venereal disease - or two)

Question 5

His mother is ...

A. The most wonderful person in the world

B. Someone that you may or may not personally get along with, but you respect her and his relationship with her

C. An evil witch who is probably putting hexes on you and cackling gleefully as she poisons an apple to feed you on her next visit

Answers to Question 5
~ in the Fun Loving Female's Love Match Test & Quiz ~

If you answered ...

A. Quit deluding yourself. Though some mothers-in-law truly are wonderful, it is a rare thing indeed. Just wait until you yourself become one

B. You understand the role and situation of your mother-in-law and when you become one yourself your daughter-in-law will surely be just as understanding as you are now

C. Get out of fantasy land. His mother may be overbearing, or even a bit of a pain in a private place, but surely she is not all that bad. Again, just wait until you yourself become a mother-in-law

Question 6

His policy towards public affection is ...

A. To never break contact with you under any circumstance

B. To be affectionate, but not over-affectionate

C. To simply smile at you from afar as you are diffidently and obediently walking ten paces behind him with your head bowed down, as a good woman should - the few times you are allowed out of the house

Answers to Question 6
~ in the Fun Loving Female's Love Match Test & Quiz ~

If you answered ...

A. Careful, he could just secretly be the mortally jealous type; or, he may have serious attachment issues and a mother complex that demands that you fill his mother's place in his life ... and having met your mother-in-law - do you really want that?

B. This just might be the guy for you - provided he is loving, good looking, powerful, famous, rich and generous, too, of course

C. If you are behaving like that then this nasty S.O.B. is surely the one for you - no one else can continually confirm your low sense of self esteem and lousy self worth quite the way he can

Question 7

When it comes to cleanliness, your guy likes to ...

A. Bathe eight times a day with soap and water, shower himself with after shave and perform constant grooming on himself with tweezers, a mirror, and a fine tooth comb

B. Shower regularly, smell nice or not at all, and be pretty well groomed

C. Avoid baths unless they are entirely necessary. He has the manly smell of a boar - perhaps one that has been dead for some time. He wears his dirt with pride, and occasionally you may find small patches of mold growing on his dirt/skin - which he tells you "Adds personality!"

Answers to Question 7
~ in the Fun Loving Female's Love Match Test & Quiz ~

If you answered ...

A. Unless you are a career model ... too ... this guy just may be a bit too finicky and self centered for you

B. Nothing is sexier than a well groomed man that is clean and smells good, right? Unless you're into nice, clean, manly, male, masculine sweat from working or working out, of course, which surprisingly many women secretly are ... or so men like to think

C. Are you sure he belongs in your bedroom? Sounds more like he belongs on the set of the next "Undead Monster of the Black Lagoon" horror movie

Question 8

After a fight ...

A. He apologizes and owns up to his side of the disagreement

B. He is cold, distant, and simply avoids you for days

C. He hugs you and weeps with you and tells you that he is sorry and will never ever hurt you again, and then - if you're lucky - he patches up your cuts and bruises

Answers to Question 8
~ in the Fun Loving Female's Love Match Test & Quiz ~

If you answered ...

A. Ah! A dream guy. Don't you wish all guy were like this?

B. He is the typical "tough macho guy" that will probably live in stony silence until the day he walks out on you

C. Are you sure you're going to survive until next year with this guy?

Question 9

Your man's annoying little habits ...

A. Are simply something that you have to live with. You remember that you have your annoying habits that he has to live with, too

B. Drive you up slowly the wall and make you idly consider just how far your finger nails could dig into his flesh as he clicks that pen for the 8 millionth time

C. Cause you to slowly but relentlessly build up uncontrollable rage and anger ... until one day you grab his shotgun in one hand and his hunting rifle in the other and go on a shooting spree where you cackle madly as you shoot all men that look even remotely like him

Answers to Question 9
~ in the Fun Loving Female's Love Match Quiz & Test ~

If you answered ...

A. Congratulations on what's probably going to be a long and happy relationship

B. You should probably consider meditating or seeking out anger management therapy before your suppressed emotions cause you to move from this answer to the next one

C. You are probably a closet psycho, and choosing this answer has alerted the local authorities to keep an eye on you

Question 10 (Final Funny Question)

Even the thought of marrying your guy...

A. Turns you on - totally!

B. Scares you, but you think that under the right circumstances it might just happen one day, but if it doesn't then that's totally cool too, since love is what matters

C. Forces you to run to the bathroom to heave up your guts

Answers to Question 10
~ in the Fun Loving Female's Love Match Quiz & Test ~

If you answered ...

A. Being a complete traditionalist and conventionalist - not to mention having issues about possessing and 'owning' your lover - you are probably setting yourself up for serious disappointment. Have you checked the divorce statistics recently? Of course, if you are an honest-to-god gold digger you're probably on the right track, so congrats!

B. You are understandably hesitant, but you are willing to take things slowly and see where they go. Congratulations on the potential or even likely success of your relationship.

C. You are terrified of commitment. If this relationship is a casual fling with a well groomed, well hung yet sensitive stud of incredible stamina - congratulations! Good on you!