• Let funny Confucius quotes, jokes and sayings spice up your day ... or so 'Confucius say' - he 'say' a lot by the way (read more about facts and rules for funny Confucius quotes here)
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Hilarious Confucius Quotes That Will Make You Go Nuts
Confucius say: Baseball is wrong - man with four balls cannot walk.
Confucius say: Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding bag.
Confucius say: A man with his hands in pockets feels foolish, but a man with holes in pockets feels nuts.
Funny Confucius Sayings about Man and Woman
Confucius say: Man who lay woman on ground gets piece on earth.
Confucius say: Man who read woman like book, prefer braille!
Confucius say: He who let woman on top is fucking up.
Confucius say: Woman who goes to man's apartment for snack, gets tit-bit.
Confucius say: Man with hard problem usually give it to woman.
Confucius say: Man who dates dynamite lady, gets big bang out of her.
Some Funny Confucius Jokes all Ready to Flush
Confucius say: Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!
Confucius say: House without toilet is uncanny.
Confucius say: Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have shitty time.
Confucius say: Fly which rests on toilet seat gets pissed off.
Funny Confucius Quotes That Would Make Confucius Feel Right Back at Home
Confucius say: Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Confucius say: Gay man in Chinese restaurant will order "sum yung guy".
Confucius say: Chinese couple who have white baby, name it " Sum Ting Wong"
Confucius say: If you turn an oriental around, he become disoriented.
Animalistic Confucius Jokes - Don't Take Pet
Confucius say: Man who throw a cat out car window, makes kitty litter.
Confucius say: Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock.
Confucius say: Hamsters which crawl into the wrong orifice get shit-faced.
Confucius say: Squirrel lay on rock and crack nuts, man lay on crack and rock nuts.
Confucius say: Man who buy drowned cat must pay for wet pussy.
Funny Confucius Kiss-and-tell Jokes
Confucius say: Passionate kiss like spider's web soon lead to undoing of fly.
Confucius say: Man who snatch kisses when young, kisses snatches when old.
Confucius say: Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face.
Confucius say: Girl who marry detective must kiss dick.
Funny Confucius Quotes That Make You Face the Music
Confucius say: Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get tone of A flat miner.
Confucius say: Woman is like jazz music, 3/4 jazz time and 1/4 rag time.
And Now for Some Sharp Confucius jokes
Confucius say: Man who cut self while shaving, lose face.
Confucius say: Man who sit on tack get point!
Confucius say: Butcher who back into meat-grinder, get a little behind in his orders.
Confucius say: He who has a sharp tongue cuts own throat.
Confucius' World of Make-believe
Confucius say: Man with hand in bush not necessarily trimming shrubs.
Confucius say: Men who put cream in tart, not always a baker.
Confucius say: Woman who go camping must beware of evil intent.
Confucius say: Man who checks out woman's package, dosen't always work for UPS.
Confucius say: When man bring wife flowers for no reason, there usually reason.
Funny Confucius Quotes Heading for Trouble
Confucius say: He who stick head in open window get pane in neck.
Confucius say: Man with head up ass, can't see for shit.
Confucius say: Man who mix Rogaine with Viagra will end up hard headed.
Confucius say: He who places head in sand, will get kicked in the end!
Rash Confucius Jokes
Confucius say: Man who jumps off cliff, jumps to conclusion!
Confucius say: Man piss in wind, wind piss back.
Confucius say: Boy fool with girl in wrong period get caught red handed.
Confucius say: He who pull out too fast leave rubber behind.
Random Stuff from Funny Confucius
Confucius say: Man who drop watch in whisky is wasting time.
Confucius say: Man who have circumcision lose a bit of foresight.
Confucius say: Man who masturbate only screwing self.
Confucius say: Man who sucks nipples makes clean breast of things.
Confucius say: Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
Confucius say: Sex is like the army, the closer you are to discharge, the better you feel.
Confucius say: He who thinks by the inch and talks by the yard deserves to be kicked by the foot.
Confucius say: Man with one foot on 'yesterday' and one foot on 'tomorrow' will end up pissing on 'today'.
Confucius say: Woman who come to bed wearing nothing but running shoes, wants to have marathon session.
Confucius say: Prostitute who likes bondage is usually strapped for cash.
Confucius say: A butler with no teeth is called an in-dentured servant.
Confucius say: Man who give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach will "Abdicate".
Confucius say: Man who is impotent will have Willy-nilly.
Confucius say: Mummys who take vacation, will relax and unwind.
Confucius say: Man who pamper his cow, will get spoiled milk.
Confucius say: Woman who fall in love with elevator operator, usually get the shaft.
Confucius say: Woman who dates gambler, gets cheated on.
Where Would You Like to Go Next after These Funny Confucius Quotes?
'Confucius Say' funny quotes are funny one line jokes that have everything to do with fun and nothing to do with Confucius!
Funny Confucius Sayings
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You like 'quickies'? These short funny jokes make out the 'cherry' of the cake!
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What funny one liners lack in length, they win in fun - so prepare for a good laugh!
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