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• 'Confucius say' are funny one line jokes that manage to lie somewhere in-between crude comedy and sophisticated humour
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Confucius Jokes about Conjugal Confusions
Confucius say: Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
Confucius say: Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night!
Confucius say: Wife not part of furniture, until screwed on bed.
Confucius say: Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Confucius say: He who buries a man's wife alive, should not expect to sit at that man's dinner table without the subject coming up.
Confucius say: Man's wife his better half, his mistress his better whole.
Confucius say: When wife complain too much about no magic in marriage, husband will disappear.
Confucius say: Man who was a dude before marriage, is now subdued.
Funny Confucius Sayings That Leave Nothing Left 'Behind'
Confucius say: Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Confucius say: Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Confucius say: Man that go to bed with itchy butt wake up with sticky fingers!
Confucius say: Man who behaves like an ass will be the butt of those who crack jokes.
Confucius say: He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
Confucius say: Crowded elevator always smell different to midget.
Confucius say: Man that is stuck in pantry has his ass in jam.
Confucius say: Man who farts in church sits in his own pew!
Confucius Really Knows How to Crack Some Jokes
Confucius say: Man who sells Kotex, is crack salesman.
Confucius say: Man who put head on Railroad track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache.
Confucius say: Dumb man climb tree to get cherry, wise man spread limbs.
Confucius say: Woman pilot who fly upside down have crack up.
Funny Confucius Sayings That Let Money Do the Talking
Confucius say: Man who comes into money, have sticky financial situation.
Confucius say: Man who work all day for a pool maintenance company, will feel drained.
Confucius say: He who masturbates in front of cash register come into money.
Confucius say: Banker who sits in freezer, will have frozen assets.
Confucius say: Man who finds job at crystal ball company will make a fortune.
Wet Funny Confucius Sayings
Confucius say: Man who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty double crosser.
Confucius say: Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.
Confucius say: Don't sweat the petty stuff ... and don't pet the sweaty stuff.
Funny Confucius Sayings That Will Light up Your Day
Confucius say: Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes will soon burn out!
Confucius say: He who light the fuse of love, get big bang.
Confucius say: Rich old bachelor is man who have money to burn but no pilot light.
Cocky Confucius Jokes
Confucius say: Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Confucius say: He who plays with self, pulls boner.
Confucius say: Man with five dicks will have pants that fit like a glove.
Confucius say: Woman who is in love with priest will chase him through church and grab him by the organ.
And Now for Some Old, Hairy Confucius sayings
Confucius say: Man have more hair on chest than woman, but on whole woman have more.
Confucius say: Girl who have red hair have red hair, by cracky.
Sweet But not so Innocent Funny Confucius Sayings About Girls
Confucius say: Girl who is wallflower at party is dandelion in bed.
Confucius say: Man who lay girl on hill not on level.
Confucius say: Girl who douches with vinegar walk around with sour puss.
Confucius say: Man who marries girl with no bust have right to feel low down.
Confucius say: Girl who sits on Judge's lap gets honourable discharge.
Confucius say: It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.
Sweet, Funny Confucius Sayings
Confucius say: He who eat cookie in bed, will wake up feeling crumby.
Confucius say: He who eat ice cream in car is a Sundae Driver.
Confucius say: He who put face in punch bowl get punch in nose.
Funny Confucius Sayings That May Require Some Medical Attention
Confucius say: Man who take sleeping pill and laxative on the same night will wake up in deep shit.
Confucius say: Man who mix Viagra and Ex-Lax, dosen't know if he's coming or going.
Confucius say: Company who make women's vibrators is called, Genital Electric.
Random Funny Confucius Sayings
Confucius say: Prisoner who paints in jail, will have brush with the law.
Confucius say: Geometry teacher who loses parrot, will have polygon.
Confucius say: Newscaster who reports hurricanes, knows how to talk up a storm.
Confucius say: Woman who dates trash collector, will get dumped.
Confucius say: Nurse who goes missing at beach, can be found under the doc.
Confucius say: Student who study history, will find there is no future in it.
Confucius say: Lady who goes down first time out, is called "Titanic".
Confucius say: Man who wants to kill a circus troupe, should go for the juggler.
Confucius say: Woman who loses wedding ring in kitchen, should remove her drawers.
Confucius say: Woman who wear something from Victoria's Secret, have no more secrets.
Confucius say: He who stands in corner with hands in pocket doesn't feel crazy, feels nuts.
Confucius say: Woman who gives away free potato chips, will offer you a free lay.
Confucius say: Surgeon who make mistake, forced to take a cut in salary.
Confucius say: Army like blow job the closer to discharge you get, the better it feels.
Confucius say: Man who smoke pot, choke on handle.
Confucius say: Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!
Confucius say: Man with clear conscience have bad memory.
Confucius say: Man who burns yard is said to smoke a lot of weed.
Confucius say: Man who is jacking off into a peanut butter jar is fucking nuts.
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