- A man walks into a bar and he says ... Ow.
- The beatings will continue until morale improves.
- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
- I can handle pain until it hurts.
- A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
Best Short Jokes Ever - Shocking Truths ~ Truth Jokes
- Always remember you're unique ... just like everyone else.
- No matter where you go, you're there.
- The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
- Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
- To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
For more best short jokes ever on at related topic see Truths You Never Knew, You Were Never Going to Miss on the page Short Hilarious Jokes.
Best Short Jokes Ever ... Just Take Your Time ~ Time Jokes
- How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
- Time is the best teacher, but it kills all its students.
- A dry cleaner who is in a hurry for a date, will be pressed for time.
- It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
- Some people ask the secret of our long marriage: We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Best Short Jokes Ever about Police and Thieves ~ Police Jokes
- Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
- A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
- A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
- Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
- The only animal with an asshole in the middle of its back is a police horse.
- A women was found in her home in her bath tub surrounded by milk with a spoon up her pussy and a banana up her arse. Police suspect a cereal killer.
- Police will arrest a transvestite, and charge him with male fraud.
- A crate load of Viagra has been stolen from a distribution depot - police are looking for hardened criminals.
- A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window... "Pull over!"
For more best short jokes ever on at related topic see Doing Time With Funny One Line Jokes on the page Funny One Line Jokes.
Best Short Jokes Ever About Husbands and Wives ~ Marriage Jokes
- Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
- Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
- Marriage is like taking a bath... after you've been in it for a while, it isn't so hot.
- A diplomat is a man who can convince his wife that a fur coat will make her look fat.
- A wise man buys his wife fine china, so she won't trust him to wash it.
- When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
- I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said, "No, one drag is enough.
- My wife is always talking about a trip to Europe. I have no objections - I let her talk.
For more best short jokes ever on at related topic see Very Short Jokes About the Differences Between Men and Women on the page Very Short Jokes or Really Funny One Liners about Marriage, Husbands and Wives on the page Really Funny One Liners.